4 Ways I Stay Sober Without AA
Content
In the first 30 days of my sobriety, I cried, laughed and felt everything deeply — even my sense of smell was deeper. In your first 30 days, you can expect to slowly come out of the fog created by drugs and alcohol. “Thirteenth-stepping” is a pejorative term for AA members approaching new members for dates. A study in the Journal of Addiction Nursing sampled 55 women in AA and found that 35% of these women had experienced a “pass” and 29% had felt seduced at least once in AA settings. This has also happened with new male members who received guidance from older female AA members pursuing sexual company. The authors suggest that both men and women must be prepared for this behavior or find male or female-only groups.
What is a true relapse?
A relapse happens when a person stops maintaining their goal of reducing or avoiding use of alcohol or other drugs and returns to their previous levels of use.
They tell us to get a sponsor to walk us through the steps. They tell us not to make any major decisions our first year of sobriety. The one that seems to stick out the most is when people tell us not to get into any relationships our first year of sobriety. If you’re like me, some of these suggestions seem silly, and it was hard for me to take suggestions from others in early sobriety, but the one about relationships carries quite a bit of weight. We publish material that is researched, cited, edited and reviewed by licensed medical professionals. The information we provide is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Program
Like individual groups, the GSO is self-supporting. AA receives proceeds from books and literature that constitute more than 50% of the income for its General Service Office. In keeping with AA’s Seventh Tradition, the Central Office is fully self-supporting through the sale of literature and related products, and the voluntary donations of AA members and groups. It does not accept donations from people or organizations outside of AA. Research tells us that about 40% of AA members who reach one year of sobriety will remain sober.
Why am I so afraid of sober?
Many people are afraid to get sober simply because they think they will hate it. When your current lifestyle revolves around drinking or drugging, it is not hard to see why the thought of living a sober life is hard to grasp. Humans often have a fear of the unknown.
Meditation/mindfulness is probably the biggest one. I drank as a substitute/avoidance for being in the uncomfortable ‘now’. Meditation and mindfulness show me that ‘now’ is actually the only thing worth a damn in this life. I’m not talking about a particular religion or belief system – just the practice https://ecosoberhouse.com/ of being in the moment and seeing thoughts and emotions as passing phenomena, rather than hard and fast ‘reality’. If you are interested, but don’t know where to start with this, r/Meditation is probably a good place to start. I asked for companionship from friends, a sponsor of many years.
Was I using Women to Fill the Void?
But then I took a decision and attended fewer and fewer sessions until I was sure and confident I didn’t need the support of AA anymore. That was my journey towards complete abstinence. All you need is a bit of self confidence and control. But, in the insanity of my early recovery, I tried to embrace the idea of God. I even went to church and wholeheartedly tried to like the idea of having a universal support and He knew what was best for me. However, as I awakened and gained a sense of sanity, some uncomfortable feelings bubbled to the surface. My feelings were compounded by an internal sense that the Steps just weren’t for me; I felt there was too much emphasis on amending bad/addictive behavior.
- Thats where the part is with AA that if you leave you die.
- I do like the book “it works how and why” although I don’t find myself compelled into reading it.
- It’s almost a set-up for more rejection (again!) and no alcoholic needs that!
- AA members becoming tax funded employees and court advocates to help people skirt responsibility for criminal behavior, reduce time for treatment – AA taught me to take responsibility for my actions.
- I met people who knew the devastation of hardcore drinking, as well as the joys of living alcohol-free.
It appears to me that this is using dogma to try and control others by labels of “cult” and so forth. Organized religion stood between me and God for years. These steps help me find “God as I understand him”. I have been a member of NA, off and on since 2001. That was when I first truly had a desire to stop. I was miserable in my life and felt completely out of control in all areas. By taking suggestions such as a 90 in 90, getting sponsor, I was able to stop for the first time in over 20 years.
What does being sober mean?
As I started reading the Big Book, working with a sponsor and doing some steps, I learned a lot more about myself. I learned about the issues I had with abandonment and my need to feel loved and wanted. I saw how I had a lot of selfish, self-centered and self-seeking tendencies. I realized that I sometimes have impossible expectations for people, places and things, which lead me to being hurt. AA is absolutely a cult and a dangerous one at that. I was raised in it and breaking free from the ideals is painful and an ongoing struggle.
- We were on and off and he was going back and forth between using and sobriety.
- I’ve been told I’m going to relapse or die if I don’t go to meetings.
- While AA was originally created for people struggling with addiction from alcohol, many struggling with addiction to drugs and prescription medications felt the program didn’t pertain to them.
- But I would rather this happen than return to the life I was living prior to sobriety.
- I’ve worked the twelve steps twice with two sponcers.
Please post only when sober; you’re welcome to read in the meanwhile. That sounds like a pretty good model of sobriety to me. When I showed up here, I looked for the people who were happy.
Spooky Sober Halloween Fun
If PAWS is severe or if you’re experiencing prolonged symptoms, a medical professional can help you work through them and remain in recovery without relapse. This article discusses what sobriety means and describes strategies that can support your long-term recovery. It also covers tips on how to deal with the challenges you’ll face on your journey to sobriety. Buddy T is an anonymous writer and founding member of the Online Al-Anon Outreach Committee with decades of experience writing about alcoholism. Verywell Mind’s content is for informational and educational purposes only.
- An individual can learn to cope with emotional issues and the mental obsession with alcohol or drugs through therapies and medical approaches.
- While they may be subtle differences, they still exist.
- She kept telling me that in my two years of clean time that I had not changed and that I have been saying the same things and doing the same things for two years.
- The authors concluded that though spirituality was an important mechanism of behavioral change for some alcoholics, it was not the only effective mechanism.
- There are sober coaches, counselors, and psychologists out there happy to support you on your recovery journey.
There are other options out there, but my experience is AA membership monopolized my time, and when I needed support, you could hear the tumbleweeds dropping seeds. Today, I have not one single friend in my life from AA after 23 years of active participation in my community.
In a study done by Acqua Recovery with Vista Research, it was found that 64% of clients who stayed abstinent for six months after treatment attended regular recovery meetings. Addiction recovery is something that needs to be worked at and maintained. Attending regular recovery meetings decreases get sober without aa the chance of relapse, as well as providing you with support from people who understand what you’re going through. Whether it’s your first time getting clean and sober, or you’re giving it another try, you’ve probably heard about one of the most well-known fellowships, Alcoholics Anonymous.